January: Week 2

15/01/16

It’s 9:30PM, we’re watching Downton Abbey, there’s a knock at the door. Susan’s not wearing pants and I just painted my nails. We look at each other. “Maddy?” Susan whispers at me. “She didn’t tell me she was coming over?” I shrug. One of the perks of having a sister that lives 5 minutes away is unexpected visits. I get up. Slowly walking towards the front door. There’s a bright florescent light shining through the crack of the door. Whoever they are, they have a torch.

In hindsight, I am so grateful I didn’t say anything inappropriate (as I usually do, knowing that it’s my sister behind the door). Because it wasn’t her, standing there ready to say something smart back to me. I was met by two police officers. A tall man in uniform standing at my door, and a woman officer a few steps down my front stairs.

An incredibly long and arduous story later, they just wanted to let me know that the dint in my car I got from a drugged up man trying to attack me won’t be getting fixed on his dollar.

16/01/16

I cannot fault the kindness and generosity of my friends. I co-run a book club with a handful of women that I met (and fell in love with!) during our Honours year. Since we aren’t forced to see each other constantly with ‘Shut Up and Write!’ sessions anymore, we make a point to see each other every other week.

Today was supposed to be our catch up to discuss the latest novel. Being the brilliant co-organiser that I am, I didn’t get a chance to read it. Now I could tell you a thousand explanations (not excuses!) why this happened, but nevertheless it did. I was honest about it to the group, and of course being the beautiful people they are, they didn’t give me any grief over it. They still suggested we meet up for a coffee and chat. Being a bit of a coffee snob, I decided to pick up a coffee from my local before driving into the CBD. It’s now I should mention I’m trial running new eating habits that require me to drink black coffee. Turns out I hate black espresso coffee. Loathe it, actually. So I was a little grumpy from not being able to have a coffee, which lead to a headache, which made the three cars that decided to cut me off even more annoying. Traffic was hell. Finding a park was even worse. It started raining while I was walking to the library. So by the time I actually arrived, I was 30 minutes late and not a happy camper. Kat and Hannah laughed at my misery and tempted me into another coffee that would conform to my dietary requests.

This is what friends are for: forcing you into a better situation even when you’re happy being unhappy. The iced coffee on soy was a lot more bearable, and made my headache go away. Half way through our conversation about bubbles, Kat pulled out a small parcel, wrapped in brown paper, with ‘Happy Birthday Elle!’ written on the front. I think that people remember your birthday is thought enough.“Sorry it’s late, but you’re just so hard to get to!” Kat said, handing me the package.I bit my lip and apologised. Only 16 days into the year and I am already swimming in work. “You really didn’t have to get me anything. This is enough.” All year our group has had to listen to me chirp on about how spending time together is much more important than gifts. My breath got caught in my throat when I realised what she had gotten me. It was a Norwegian phrasebook and dictionary, alongside some vegan chocolate and some Norwegian kroner, “just in case you get in trouble and need a cab fare or a meal”. Gifts that had obviously had some thought put into them get me every time. Susan and I head off to Norway in two weeks, and the response we’ve gotten has been incredibly mixed. So receiving a positive affirmation almost brought me to tears.

This post is hideously drawn out, so I’ll leave it here. Message: don’t take advantage of the good people in your life.

17/01/16

We drove to my mama’s house after a birthday dinner for one of our great friends.

So I was awoken the usual way I get woken up when I visit. With a 3yo giggling an inch from my face, slapping my arm, and screaming “WAKE UP, ELLE!” This isn’t as bad as it sounds. It helps because I’m hopelessly in love with said 3yo. It also helps that she is just as excited to see me as I am her.

I like to pretend she’s mine. She looks like me, acts like me, and we share the same blood. Even when she throws herself on the ground, kicking and screaming, with tears freely pouring, I love her even more.

She is quite fond of us playing ‘lions’. This involves me roaring at her, a chase ensues, I catch my prey, and then ‘eat’ it (her). We do this for hours, with each attack as gentle as the last. My heart breaks when I think this will be the last time I can hold her for 2 months. I ask for a cuddle. She smiles at me and opens her little arms.

“Oor my bwest friend, Elle.” She says, nuzzled into my neck.

I smell her hair, and trace circles on her back. “You’re my best friend too.”  

18/01/16

Goodbyes are the worst. I mean, the worst. Watching as she starts to cry and repetitively whispers no is hard. Keeping your own tears at bay is even harder.

The lump in my throat feels like it could burn a hole in my neck. “But I’ll see you on the computer – and you can call me any time you want,” I tell her. She isn’t satisfied with that. Neither am I. She’s in my arms, pouting, with tears trickling down her cherub cheeks. I give her a kiss and tell her she’s my whole world.

As we pull away, I beep the horn and wave out my window. I hope she didn’t see me start to cry. The thought makes me cry harder. Suzie tells me she understands why I can’t live overseas again, “your family means too much to you.” I nod. My head aches from holding in my tears and a caffeine deficiency. I shouldn’t be driving, but I am. I just want to get home.

19/01/16

“Bread makes you fat?”

It’s a struggle when your oldest sister works at a bakery 2 minutes from your house.

As annoyed as she looks when I creep up to the counter on my lunch break, deep, deep down, I know she is happy to see me.

20/01/16

Do you know that scene in a movie, where two people are arguing and there’s something dramatic and life-threatening going on in the background? That happened to me today.

I was at the dining room table, on my laptop (I got a new laptop today) screaming Life on Mars? and Susan was desperately trying to talk to me. But I refused to stop. It was the chorus after all. I looked up to smile at her, a reminder that I knew she was talking but I just needed to get this out. But before I could reach her face, the smile slipped off mine and I stopped singing. The kitchen was on fire. Well, not the entire kitchen, but the baking paper we used to cook our potato chips on for lunch had caught alight from the wind blowing against the open stovetop flame. Susan had no idea what’s going on yet. In her mind she knew that I was just actively ignoring her, and then I’ve jumped up and sprinted into the kitchen.

She forgave me instantly after watching me put out the flame. For those wondering, I used the good old-fashioned huff and puff method – I just blew it out. Crisis averted. 

21/01/16

Oh Queensland, why must you be so insufferable in summer? It is on days like today that you regret not getting your coffee iced. Trying to sit in the park for any more than 20 minutes with a scalding drink in your hand is unbearable. Lord only knows why people come here in summer. PSA: Don’t. It’s too hot and you’ll die.

I also woke up with a massive bite on my face. Susan reassured me nobody would notice. I believed her until the barista gasped at me and asked what happened. I laughed and said, “that’s what I get for living in Australia." It always shocks me how some people have a complete lack of tact. Today does beat the time I got bit by three different spiders in one day. Still waiting for my superpowers…  

22/01/16

My editor sent me through some information about a woman she thought I might be interested in interviewing for work. I emailed the woman’s PR and organised a time for me to call and have a chat. Similar to all other situations regarding social interactions, I got horrendously anxious. A perk of sometimes working from home is that I can deal with anxiety privately, which involves dramatic dancing to Kiss of Fire by Georgia Gibbs. Five minutes before our arranged time, I realised I had already stuffed up catastrophically. She lives in Melbourne. I live in Brisbane. 9am my time was 10am her time.

I rang immediately. She didn’t pick up. I left a voice message explaining what happened, apologised profusely, hung up, and ran into the lounge room howling profanities.

“I take it didn’t go well?” Susan mused. I explained what happened, I said I’d try calling her again in 10 minutes. I decided it was best that I run over my questions again, so when I do eventually get in contact, all will run smoothly.

The second I sat at my desk, she called me back. We both laughed at the misunderstanding, and proceeded to have one of the loveliest phone interviews I’d had to date.

I also had a dinner party where we watched IT Crowd and played charades. For the record, I won.